The 2nd Coming (of the Og)

Well as yesterday was, relatively, a very good day I guess it could only follow that today must maintain equilibrium and be, hmm, not so great. It began, as most poor days do, with a distinct lack of sleep in both quantity and quality. This granted the knock on effect of missing the bus for the first time which sent brain into stressed yet too tired to reason out that no need to be stressed mode.

The morning was then spent at a university student fair promoting the organisation I work for and what we do, which is alcohol + drug rehabilitation (basically the idea is when people need help and want help we give them it). Unfortunately the organizers had booked the "fair" during exams meaning the university was virtually empty with guests totally 18, one of which was a 4 year old boy who I truely hope did not need advice about drugs. Adding to the mornings greatness was while the university was empty one person who did happen to be on campus was my ex (two-ish year relationship) who I hadnt seen for 3 months since we split, she acted very oddly and made me feel very uncomfortable with being okay with the break-up (even though she had called it quits) and generally just acted a bit selfishly which in a way kind of helped smooth thoughts in my head over into the : Well you're hot and beautiful but not good for me. Which while helps the brain go, ah well, all is Good then, doesnt help the, you're going back home to a cat and she's with someone else type thoughts all that much.

Ho hum, things took an even worse nosedive later as I met up with my Dad which is not a frequent occurrence (though do speak weekly) he is 69 and really showing it. I think I have an ability to 'feel' how others feel beyond that just of empathy and mirroring to the point when I take on some of them and I felt so tired and without hope that when I came home I felt like I may never see him again and cried my eyes out like a child, something not done in a long time (at least 3 months ;). I felt like in my job and in my life one of the keys to everything is to help people see the hope that there is, that no matter what situation it is there is always hope and if you apply a logical reasonable mind plus a bit of time you can generally find it. However with my father I just felt I couldn't come up with anything, he feels like life is up now and has given him a huge amount of things and that its time to just give up. I have before been able to suggest things to do and options etc... This time though it felt like I could feel the hopelessness, that anything would be pretty hollow and that he might not be around for much longer, I have though decided to try to spend more time with him and say a few 'you know I do love you Dad' plus come to terms with if he feels its time then its his decision and shouldn't be influenced by my own needs or beliefs of 'how people should be' something I cannot even begin to imagine having not lived his very full 69 years.

Day Rating : 3/10

Low point : Thinking might not get to speak to my Dad again.
High point : Feeling like said goodbye to Ex for good, not turning round to check how she looked or what she was doing and just walking away.

Question for today : Do the potential benefits of legalising drugs outweigh the possible problems?

The Og's Log

Once upon a time... There was a man (part man, larger part boy) called Og. He lived what he considered a vaguely interesting life and often considered he'd appreciate keeping a log, an Oglog if you will of the events that transpired to him and around him.

He promised himself that each day he would try to post at least three paragraphs of happenings including a low and high point of the day, a question and a rating score out of 10 for the day overall and see how things went over time then probably look back at 50 and wish he had at some point at least gone skydiving.

Today, I decided to start a blog, this was fueled generally by three key factors, continuing 'spiritual' conversations with a large variety of strangers who seem to be adding more pieces to the puzzle at random and increasing numbers, an increasing amount of synchronicity again (could also be called coincidences) and finally a seemingly desolate and barren yet choice filled love life (or lack thereof). In short, life seems to be interesting right now and if it becomes very un-interesting I can look back and see that at least for a short spell of intrigue happened to reminisce about.

Day Rating : 8/10

Low point : Hearing people in the office talking about me, not necessarily in a bad way, just saying something just out of earshot.
High point : Feeling like truely helped someone to start walking their path again.

Question for today : Should you go for someone your personality 'clicks' with even if you didn't find them that attractive at first or should you wait for the attractiveness with the 'click' also?